songs for the end of a summer

The Lonely Forest - 'Live There'







Hem - 'Half Acre'

crack the darkest sky wide open

I feel very young.  Perhaps this feeling, this subjective fact, is dredged up by circumstances that I have no precedent for processing.

I do not know what I am becoming.


How does anyone know what to do next?  I read this NYT article today.  It contrasted a type of life lived out of an overall purpose and a corresponding allocation of time and energy to achieve that purposed thing, with an idea called 'the summoned life' wherein life is seen as unpredictable, but filled with possibility.  Rather than presuming to know where one should end up, life is comprised of present situations which provide specific opportunities and the responsibility to choose what is needed and useful, both for oneself and for the world.  Where are the circumstances summoning?

I think I've begun to fall more into the latter mindset, despite the uncertainty and fear it brings me. What that article failed to take into account is the role of the Spirit's work in a human heart.  And that has made all the difference.



[If I were to spend less time in front of a screen, oh the things that could be done.  music, books, art, beauty.  some of that is inside the screens, but the taking in is too facile and the producing is crowded out.]

10 things I'd like to tell my 17 year-old self

1.  Get over it.  There are so many other boys in the world.

2. Take some Calculus and learn to use a graphing calculator.  It will make those college classes so much easier.

3.  Enjoy your mom's cooking while it lasts.  College cuisine is a wasteland.

4. Keep journaling.  heck, keep writing fiction.

5. Do whatever it takes to see Nickel Creek live.  In a couple years, they will break up and you will kick yourself around until the end of time over never seeing a show.

6. Do not get that spiral perm.  Your hair will turn very blonde and you will look freakishly odd for most of senior year.

7. Practice piano, classical and bass guitar more.  You won't have much time for music once college chemistry classes are on the horizon.

8. Don't date in college.  You'll have so much more time and energy to invest in being fully present there.

9. Stay in touch with old friends after they scatter across the country.

10. Ignore people who push you toward any one career, and study what you love.  You don't need to be rich to be immensely happy.  You can be that on a barista's budget.

p.s.

11. You will grow into your nose.  in about 5 years.

a list for warm months

I'm about to begin the first book on this reading list, while finishing up the 8 or so other books I seem to have found myself in at once.  The goal for this summer is to concentrate on one at a time.

Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Don't Sleep, There Are Snakes: Life and Language in the Amazonian Jungle by Daniel Leonard Everett



Love in the Ruins by Walker Percy

Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L'Engle

Howards End by E.M. Forster

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro

Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches by Russell Moore

Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man Who Would Cure the World by Tracy Kidder

I could also use additional suggestions.  What do you plan to read this summer?

but wait...

Hey-oh, there's a happy ending to the shirt story!  I found the exact same fabric on ebay, bought it for $10, and am going to make it myself.  Now I can also afford that dentist appointment and new contacts and maybe even some glasses that fit my face and don't tilt rakishly higher on one side.

"I celebrate a theology of amazing grace, but I often react in ungrace.

And if I rest in God's control, why do I seek it for myself?

Even in moments when I think I am prepared, I end up doing what I didn't want to do."

-Paul David Tripp

For all of that talk, I can't bring myself to do it.  My thrifty parents have rubbed off on me far too much, it seems.  I'm going to be responsible and buy some new boxes of contacts.