calling

Sometimes I think about what I want to be when I grow up.  Lately, I've been thinking less in terms of career paths and more in terms of what I hope to see God accomplish in and through my life.

There are the things I can do well and seem like a natural choice.  People expect me to move forward in them.  I think that science falls into this category.  I'm at home in the lab, but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to construct a future in which I continue on that career trajectory [in academia, that is] and have the family and marriage that I also desire.

Then there are the things I enjoy and wish I could pursue, but don't have enough time or opportunity right now.  Teaching ESL and learning other languages are things I pursued and enjoyed once -- and now miss.  I don't know how it all fits together.  Admitting that I have no idea might be the first step, though.